“I Love You” BedTime Ritual

As parents, we are well aware of the impact of our words towards our children.  Experts have reiterated the need to emphasize the positive, catch your children doing something good, and focus your energies on acknowledging the positive behavior, rather than the negative instances.

But when all your buttons have been pushed and you are convinced that this child has done nothing positive all day long, you have fulfilled your “NO” quota for the week in a single 24-hour period, and you just want to turn out the light and shut the door and call it a night, how can you still convey love to your child?

You can try our I LOVE YOU bedtime ritual.

After my child is tucked in bed and ready to sleep, I wiggle each of his fingers while telling him something that I love about him.  I focus on things that happened that day and intrinsic qualities he has. 

I love that you are learning to go potty by yourself, as I wiggle his pinky.  I love that you shared your toy with your brother when he was crying, as I wiggle his ring finger.  Wiggling his middle finger I add, You give the best hugs and I know you love me.  And then, I love that you cleaned up the spilled milk for me {even if I have to leave out that I asked 100 times}, and so on.

I give 10 compliments before he falls asleep.  And then, we switch.  He gives 10 compliments to me, while wiggling each of my fingers, one for each thing he loves about me.

For me, it melts away my frustration, reminds me how small the day’s challenges were in perspective, and requires me to fill his love tank at least once a day.

For him, it allows the last words of the day to be filled with positive I Love You messages, and magically helps him go to sleep better.  Things are more peaceful.

The I LOVE YOU ritual helps us end the day on a positive note.

No matter what the day was like.