Handmade Fudge

Posted on February 15, 2011 by Kerri

You’ve probably heard, Chicago recently had our worst blizzard in 60 years.  We took full advantage of the snow days when the entire city and metropolitan area was shut down because it was literally impossible to get

  1. out of your house because the snow drifts prevented your front door from opening and
  2. on the streets because even after you spent 4 hours of shoveling and snowblowing your driveway only wide enough for one car (not exaggerating, and that’s WITH the help of our neighbors), you still are out of luck because the plows can’t come around to all the streets until into the night.

The proof:

Snowed In!

So we were stuck, and we knew it.  Groceries were stocked and activities planned.  We had a great couple days being snow bound inside.  At one point, cabin fever struck.   The boys just have so much energy!  How to get it out!  We’ve danced, we’ve played, we’ve made forts.  I’m tired.  I want to sit, but their bodies want to keep moving!

Enter great treat idea:  Homemade Handmade Fudge.  This kept their hands moving and their focus steady waiting for the scrumptiousness!

Ingredients:

– 2 oz. powdered sugar (1/2 cup)
– 1 Tbsp butter
– 2 tsp cream cheese
– dash of vanilla
– 2 tsp cocoa

What to do:

Place all ingredients in a sandwich-size Ziploc bag. Squeeze out all the air. Squish and squish with hands until all the ingredients are well mixed and there is a creamy consistency.

Optional:

Add any favorite flavors or other stuff (raisins, M&M’s, peanut butter, chopped nuts, etc).

Oh yeah, and word to the wise:

Double bag it if you are thrifty and have thinner bags *yikes*!

And in the meantime:

We sat in the circle and played games while we worked — like the Alphabet Game.  A is for ___, and they pass the bag on.  B is for ___, and they pass the bag on.  So fun!

When it’s done:

Grab a spoon and enjoy.  Worry about gooey fingers another time.  Your kids just made you chocolate!  Who can complain!

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in Activities, All Writers, Crafts, Kerri, Learning, Recipes | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

You Come Too

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Sunny

My idea of love and romance has certainly changed as the years have gone by. Not so long ago I got a new CD titled Choose Something Like a Star that I often wake up to on Sunday mornings, and every time I hear this particular song, I think of how romantic it is. I’m not sure I would have seen it that way when I was younger, but I do now.

The lyrics are a poem by Robert Frost.  It is sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  Here you can listen to the first lines of it performed by them or listen to the whole song performed by some unknown group.  Here is the text:

The Pasture

I’m going out to clean the pasture spring;
I’ll only stop to rake the leaves away
(And wait to watch the water clear, I may)
I shan’t be gone long. — You come too.

I’m going out to fetch the little calf
That’s standing by the mother. It’s so young,
It totters when she licks it with her tongue.
I shan’t be gone long. — You come too.

I love the clarinet interlude and the way it lingers on the high note.  I love the invitation to come to a dreamy time and place.  I’m sure the fact that it is sung by the men of the choir helps.  My favorite part is right after the sample linked above cuts off.  The way they hesitate before asking me to come too tugs at my heart and emphasizes how sincere the invitation is.

Most of all I love how it reminds me how much more enjoyable life is when my husband is with me, just for the sheer joy of being together.  But it also helps me appreciate sharing moments with my children and others I love.  Yes, the work needs to be done, but what makes it worthwhile, what can make the work a pleasure, is who we are with.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in Children, Family, For You, Love, Marriage & Spouse, Relationships, Sunny, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Raising a Difficult Child

Posted on February 11, 2011 by Janae

Are you struggling to raise one of your children?  Do you find yourself in a constant battle with your child?  As a result, is your confidence as a mother starting to wane?

For six very long years, our family has struggled to understand and raise one of my beautiful sons.  You’d never guess it.  On the outside, he is fun, energetic, friendly and incredibly talented at art.  He is kind, sweet, forgiving, and includes everyone he can in his fun.  But, at home, he is easily angered.  He’ll hit, kick, break things, and scream for hours on end.

I did everything I could think of to help him, but nothing worked longer than a week.  After several years of always coming up short, I was exhausted and at the brink of giving up.  He was angry, I was angry.  And, as a result, the rest of the family suffered.  Our home was anything but a haven.  It was a very difficult and frustrating place to be.

But, one night, I finally found something that helped.  Back in September, after trying desperately to help my son through a particularly violent and explosive temper tantrum, I came downstairs exhausted and defeated, still hearing the screams coming from the second floor.  In exasperation, I typed in the words, “Difficult Child” into the internet search bar and hit return.  I clicked on the first thing that came up.  It was an excerpt from the book, “The Difficult Child” by Stanley Turecki.

If you find yourself in similar shoes as mine and have felt lost, frustrated, or confused about how to raise one of your children, take a second to click here and read the exerpt I read.  The excerpt will ask you several questions about your situation and your child.  When I answered the questions, I found that my child hits the top of the charts in terms of level of difficulty.  I hoped and prayed this book would help me understand how to help him.

It did.  I felt like it was describing our family, our feelings, and our frustrations nearly word for word.  The author, who raised a difficult child himself, seemed to know exactly where we were coming from.  He gave us an eye-opening understanding of what we were facing followed by concrete actions to take to start changing our family.  As we put his advice to the test, a transformation slowly started to take place.  The tantrums lessened.  The defiance decreased.  The harmony improved and the love increased.

It’s been 4 months since we finished the book.  I wanted to write a few months ago, but I wanted to be sure that the transformation wasn’t only temporary.  I wanted to know that it was really going to last this time.  Sure, there are still tantrums and there are still hard times.  But, I’ve learned how to handle them and how to love my son through them.  All because Stanley Turecki finally gave me the understanding, the viewpoint, and the tools to change our situation.  Take the time to get the book.  You can get it from the library or any bookstore.  I hope it helps you as much as it has helped us.

Just one quick piece of advice:  Read the book as a couple.  My husband and I decided to read the book together each night after we put the kids to bed.  It was healing for us as a couple and was essential to helping us make the transformation we needed to make in our family.  Since we both fully understood the plans laid forth by the author, we were far more successful in implementing them.  When one of us struggled, the other understood the plan and could step in.  It’s worth it to find out how to do it together.  Plus, one or both of you may be blaming the other for the problems your child is experiencing.  Reading together allows you to work through some of those feelings and come to understand the other person’s point of view.

There’s just one more thing I want to share with those of you who are raising a “difficult” child.  I know how hard it is.  It hurts.  You’ve likely cried yourself to sleep many nights.  You’ve probably felt completely alone, frustrated as your friends seem to have such happy kids.  There are many dark days and lonely nights.  Hang in there.  You’re doing a great job.  You wouldn’t be trying so hard if you weren’t.  You’re a terrific parent.  With added understanding, you’ll realize just how great you are at what you do.  Keep it up.

And, to anyone who isn’t raising a difficult child and can’t seem to understand the friend that constantly complains about the struggles they’re having at home, try to reach out and be there for them.  Don’t worry about giving advice.  Just love them and let them be a part of your life.  Don’t judge them for their parenting.  Lift them up.  They’ll need it.  Reading the book just may give you a better perspective of their life and how much they need a friend right now.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in All Writers, Challenges, Difficult Child, Janae, Relationships, The Moms | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Beware the Staph

Posted on February 10, 2011 by Heidi

You know when you are having a lively, happy conversation with a friend, and then someone butts in with bad news?

Well, amidst all these cheery posts, the bad news guy is going to be me today.

I feel an obligation to share a warning to all mothers out there of something that doctors are calling an epidemic.  What used to be contained only to hospitals, staphylococcus (staph) infections have now been known to have its inceptions in waters, gyms, schools, anywhere, really.

Staph is a common bacteria that we all have on our skin.  However, when there is too much of it and there is an entry way into our bodies, like cuts, it can cause an infection.  The MRSA strand is the most severe and if left untreated can become that flesh-eating infection we have all heard about with trepidation.  Interestingly, there are more reports of staph infections in the US than anywhere else.  One theory is because we have over-used antibiotics

In my mind I had a picture of staph as something black and gnarly.  So when I got what looked like a puffy pimple, I didn’t do anything about it.

I had 3 of them, and the red puffiness turned hard and grew larger.  Then puss leaked out from the top, and more of these sores appeared.  I had the MRSA strand, but luckily had it taken care of before it worsened.

You would think that after my experience with it, I would quickly recognize it when my daughter contracted it.  But I didn’t.  Hers appeared when she got a diaper rash, and even the small abrasions on her skin caused by the diaper rash was enough for the bacteria to enter.  (A moist, warm bottom was a great breeding ground, too, I am sure.)  For the first week I blamed the “owie” on her bum as part of the diaper rash, until it spread to her leg and I recognized it as staph.

My brother in law contracted the MRSA strand as well, and was hospitalized for it, as well as a good friend.  Both were in danger of losing a limb.  You may ask, did we all contract it from one another?  My brother in law and good friend live far away, and the doctor said that though it is likely my daughter contracted it from me, since it is so prevalent, it is hard to say.

So, besides Staph having the potential to be very dangerous, I am warning you because this seemingly harmless “owie”  almost always needs antibiotics to go away, it is highly contagious, and it is oh, so painful.

So, if you see a puffy pimple on your child, and the inflamed section turns red and spreads, especially if your child complains of pain, go to the doctor’s and stop staph in its path.

But don’t take my word for it — I have no DR. before my name.  Talk to your doctor for more information, or take the word of a virtual doctor.  Check out this website for more information:  www.webmd.com

Have a good day and stay healthy!

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in All Writers, Heidi, Illness | 2 Comments

Slipping Through My Fingers

Posted on February 9, 2011 by Cheri

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and I’ve been thinking a lot about what matters most in my life.  Especially the people who matter most.  When my third daughter was born, I watched the movie “Mamma Mia” in the hospital.  You may love that movie or you may hate it, but what I loved was how upbeat the music is.  However, one song hit me like a Mack truck.  I just sat in the hospital and bawled.  But I forgot about that experience until the other night when I watched “Mamma Mia” again.  Guess what?  The exact same thing happened.  It is now one of my favorite songs and I really want to memorize it and sing it to my girls. 

The mother in the movie sings this song as she helps/watches her daughter get ready for her wedding.  Being a mother of three daughters, I guess I just really related to this mother’s emotions.  Here is the clip from the movie on youtube.com that is well worth watching.  Or you can watch this very poorly lit version of me and my dauther singing it together.  Either way, here are the lyrics:

Schoolbag in hand
She leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye
With an absent-minded smile
I watch her go
With a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes
Her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake
I let precious time go by
Then when she’s gone
There’s that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt
I can’t deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well some of that we did
But most we didn’t
And why I just don’t know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers –

Schoolbag in hand
She leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

While the lyrics are beautiful by themselves, the music is even more beautiful, but then add the realism of having the movie playing out a scene between mother and daughter and it is unbelievable.

Hearing/seeing this song got me thinking about me and my girls.  I can’t tell you how often I feel like their lives are slipping through my fingers!  How often I want to freeze the picture and save it from the tricks of time.  How often I wonder why I haven’t done the things I’ve wanted to do with them.

So I recommited to spending more time FOR and WITH my daughters and less time FOR and WITH myself.  I don’t believe that motherhood requires complete sacrifice of yourself, but I do believe that it is easy to get busy doing the things that, frankly, don’t matter.  Have you ever sat down to start a project during naps but then the kids wake up and you’re not quite done, so you flip on a movie for them so you can finish, but then it ends up taking another couple hours to finish and by that point everyone has had it up to here?!  I have.  Moments like the other day leave me wondering “What’s it for?  Those were precious moments I let slip thru my fingers.”

I don’t mean that I’m going to play dress ups and house all day.  I don’t think that’s healthy either.  But there are so many ways to experience life with my girls.  Today, I spent every waking moment with my girls.  We woke up and read stories while daddy made breakfast (I love Monday mornings).  After breakfast, we got bathed, dressed, and ready.  Then we had family time where we talked about making good choices.  Next, we all played Go Fish.  Then we started chores–beds, laundry, clean up, toilet, toys, dishes, vacuuming.  Once that was all done, we colored and played hide and seek.  Next it was lunch time and nap time, which meant more story time.  After naps, we folded the laundry and then went sledding.  When we came home, we made dinner together, ate, got ready for bed, read more books, and then I kissed my sweet angels goodnight, brimming with joy for a day that didn’t slip thru my fingers. 

I know not every day can be like this, but I’m going to try to make more like this happen.  The love I feel for my girls and the love they feel from me is more valuable than anything else I could have spent my time on today.  Or tomorrow.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in All Writers, Cheri, Children, Family, Holidays, Love, Relationships, The Moms, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Muffin Tin Snacks

Posted on February 8, 2011 by Kerri

Whether it’s snack time or lunch time, there’s always time to add a little fun and creativity to your child’s day.

The verdict:  You make it a game, and they’re excited to eat a variety of foods. 

Too many choices?  How about using mini muffin tins. Or, two children can share one tin and assign them each 6 different cups to eat from.  And if there are too many tins to fill, just stash napkins and toothpicks in the others!

Happy Snacking!

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in All Writers, Cooking Tips and Tricks, Food, Fun, Kerri, The Moms | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Valentine Party Family Style

Posted on February 7, 2011 by Sunny

Certainly I enjoy going out with my husband to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but there are other people in my home that I want to know I love them, too.  And remind them that they love each other.  But I frankly find life overwhelming even without holidays, and a stressed-out mom does not exactly give you that loving feeling.  So we’ve developed a way to have a Valentine’s Day celebration that minimizes Mom’s stress.

First, the menu is the same every year and pre-approved by the kids.  We have tomato soup (nice and red, right from the can) and grilled cheese sandwiches cut in a heart shape with a large cookie cutter. (We usually make grilled cheese in a sandwich maker, so making them in a frying pan or griddle makes them special in our house.)  Our cookie cutter is wide, so I make sure to get bread that is wide also, not a square.

We also like a bowl of fresh strawberries on the table.  (Maybe cut in half to look more heart-shaped.)  Sure, that spinach strawberry salad would be great, but I would have to eat it all myself, as my kids are greenophobic.  If I have time to put into the meal, I put it into a dessert, where the kids appreciate it most.  Then they really know it’s a special occasion.

After dinner, we open our Valentine Mailbox that has been collecting Valentines we have each made for each other.  I have to facilitate this a bit by supplying paper, stamps, stickers, stencils, glue, glitter, scizzors, etc. and declaring one night about a week before the 14th as mandatory Valentine making night. No one can finish them all in that night, but it gets the ball rolling, and they know we will leave the materials out for a few days and they are now on their own.

Usually at this family Valentine’s party, someone still in the single digit age group begs to be the “Valentine Bunny” (or something like that that I don’t remember ever coming up with) and delivers the Valentines to each member of the family.

Sometimes they are not much to look at, but other times I have been touched at how even a teenage brother can, on his own, take time to do something special for a sibling or parent. I know the token of affection (don’t tell them I said that) wouldn’t have been made without the expectation that we would all make something for each member of the family.  And Valentine’s Day truly becomes a holiday I can love because though everyone else in the family just receives a few Valentines, even the ones that aren’t for me add to my warm feeling inside.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in Children, Crafts, Family, Food, Fun, Love, Relationships, Sunny, Valentine's Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One-On-One Lunch Dates

Posted on February 4, 2011 by Janae

A few years ago, my husband and I decided that we wanted to take our kids out on one-on-one dates. We had heard from so many sources that spending that one-on-one time can make all the difference in our relationship with our kids. So, we set out to do it. At the time, most of my kids weren’t in school yet and my husband worked from home. It was relatively easy to find time to take each one out.

But as the kids grew up, their schedules filled up too. My husband started working again out of the house and I was trying to balance life with a new baby and a toddler at home. Little by little it became nearly impossible to find time to take each child out on individual dates.

But, this year, I figured out the perfect solution: Lunch Dates.

Each of my school-aged children get one lunch date a month with me. Sometimes we head to a restaurant together. Other times, we head to a nearby park and eat, followed by some fun on the swings and slides together. A few times, I even showed up with bicycles. We jumped in the car, drove to the nearest bike path and rode our bikes until we found the perfect place to picnic. And once, Tyler (my 9 year old) and I headed to a nearby tennis court for a game of tennis.

Our lunch dates have become the perfect solution for us. It is so refreshing to be able to spend focused time with each of my children. Together we plan the date and then we both look forward to our date together.

I’ll never forget my first date with Elizabeth (my 8 year old). She’s not a child who likes to open up much about how she’s feeling or how life is going for her. She’s generally a happy kid, but when she’s down, she shuts up like a clam and won’t share what’s on her mind. On one of our first dates, I picked her up and took her to a nearby restaurant for lunch. It was amazing! As we sat waiting for our food, she just started talking up a storm. She told me about her friends, her schoolwork, her teacher, her hopes, her dreams. It was amazing. I left in awe and total joy. There was a bond made that morning that I had never gotten before with her. Sure, our family spends a lot of time together and does a lot of fun things. But, there’s something precious you just can’t get unless you dedicate the time to spend one-on-one time with each child.

Now, you ask, what do I do with the baby and toddler? I swap. Once a week, I take my sister in law’s daughter and once a week she takes my kids. It’s a win-win for both of us. So, find a family member or friend who could use a break as much as you do, and work out a schedule. Believe me, it’s so worth it.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in All Writers, Challenges, Children, Family, Finding a Balance, Janae, Relationships, The Moms | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Squeezing in Some Time to Love

Posted on February 3, 2011 by Heidi

With school aged kids, days can feel like a string of tasks to be done from morning til bedtime.  “Get up, get ready, go to school, do your homework, go to this activity, get ready for dinner, take a bath, get ready for bed.”  And somewhere in my task of making sure things are done, and my daughters’ task of doing them, our relationships are diminished, and almost seem automatic.  Mom becomes the captain and children become the soldiers following orders.  Children are rebellious and Mom becomes frustrated.

This isn’t how I wanted  my relationship to be.  I have heard and observed that a careful, loving, listening relationship while your children are young will make a huge impact for the impending teenage years and beyond.  And that’s what I want.  I want my children to see me as a parent who loves them, listens to them, someone who can be a confidant and also have a good time with.

But the mundane schedule of the day and the necessary bedtime hour did not seem to have room for that.  I used to try to have 1-on-1 time in the evening, but doing so seemed to put a strain on the rest of the family.  Then it occurred to me that I could squeeze in some time before the day even began.

Now, I wake up one child 15 minutes earlier than the usual wake up time and we play a game together.  It’s Mommy and Me time, and no one will interrupt, because everyone else is sleeping.

This takes 15 minutes a day, one day a week for each child, and this alone has helped us see each other in a different light.  I understand my children better, and they listen more willingly to me.  We feel a love for each other that is stronger than it has been because we spend time to focus on each other.

Even if it is just 15 minutes.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in Children, Difficult Child, Discipline, Finding a Balance, Heidi, Love | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Water Play Activities

Posted on February 2, 2011 by Cheri

Idle hands are the devil’s handiwork…or something like that.  Sometimes my girls just need some times to get their hands moving.  If I’m not careful, their need to use their hands turns in to poking, pushing, grabbing, hitting, and all other kinds of mischief.  It’s times like these that I try to occupy my girls with something productive or at least something that uses their brains and not just their hands. 

Water play is an incredible sensory and learning activity, especially when it has a purpose.  While all these activities can be done outside, they can also be done indoors on a cold day, a rainy day, a sick day, or a lazy day.  Turn any day into a water fun day!

We have a set of play dishes.  Add some soap and water and suddenly, your little one is learning how to do the dishes.  My daughter can spend a good hour washing every single plate and utensil, leaving it on the drying towel, and then finishing up by drying them all and putting them away.  It’s a great time for us to talk about the how and why of dishwashing.  Plus, she feels like a million bucks and a big girl to boot.

This same principle works with bath toys.  When we lived in Arizona, there was no such thing as mold.  Since moving here, however, our bath toys have become covered and filled with nasty black mold that really grosses me out.  But instead of tossing them all, why not turn bath time into cleaning time.  Arm each child with an old toothbrush (please don’t use daddy’s!) and instruct them to fight grime on all their toys.  By the time your kids are clean, your toys will be too.

Another activity for the bath that is great for 12 months and up is playing with water and cups.  You can use regular plastic cups, measuring cups, tablespoons, slated spoons, turkey basters, funnels, pitchers…whatever.  Let your little one fill up the cups with each utensil.  They learn quickly what fills them up the fastest, which is the slowest, and which is the most fun.  Just remember to have those cups lined up on the BACK side of the tub…accidents happen!! 

Hopefully Kerri will post about her summer time idea for a water fun filled car wash.  Until then, enjoy a little warm water indoors!

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Posted in Activities, All Writers, Cheri, Children, Family, Fun, Games, Learning, Surviving Winter, The Moms | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment